Friday, November 2, 2012

Chronicles (Rantings) of a Chronically Ill Momma

I wake up and feeling slightly better than usual.  I decide that I can conquer the world.  And so I do.  For two or three days I go full force, living the life I want to live, fitting in all the things that I want to do that I'm unable to do when I physically can't.  And then I awaken one morning in pain, feeling fatigued beyond comprehension, and I pay for the previous days activities for the next several days.

That's where I am today... for the second day.

In bed.

I have run and chauffeured all over tarnation for the past few days and now I'm paying the price.

I am blessed with a husband that is understanding of the havoc Fibromyalgia wreaks on me.  He knows that I want to LIVE LIFE full speed ahead.  He knows my heart and understands how depressing it is for me when I am limited by what I can do.  But beyond him, very few people understand.

People think I'm not dependable.  I'm considered as lazy and unreliable.

Friends and family are left disappointed in me.

And it breaks my heart.

I admire those with Fibromyalgia who live normal lives.  They work forty hours a week, attend all expected social functions, cook and clean, volunteer, and still have time for friends and family.  They carry on despite the pain and fatigue.

To do anything I do on any day is to push through and do it anyway, but when I've done everything I can for as long as I can, I crash and I burn.  And it ain't a pretty sight.

I long to return to the workforce.  My family needs my contribution.  And yet how could I work a forty hour week when I can't go a full two days doing normal activities.

I'd hoped the weight loss would help spark more energy.  While it definitely helps not carrying around an extra fifty pounds, I still hurt and ache.  I'm still drowsy after being up for just a few hours.

To say I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired is an understatement.

I want to live life.

I don't want to spend another day in bed.

I want to enjoy my children while they are young and want me to be part of their lives.

I want to do what people expect of me.

I want to know what a day without pain is like.

I want to know what it is like to feel rested.

I want to have a career.

I want a normal life.

I want to live.

(Tune in next time for my normal, cheerful, non-self-pitying post!)  






Saturday, August 25, 2012

The World is Our Classroom

We have successfully survived our first week back to school.  This year I have kids entering and finishing elementary and entering and finishing middle school.  I'm not sure how that is possible as I am not old enough to have kids that old.  ;-)


In addition to the kids doing their grade specific work using Switched on Schoolhouse, we are doing unit studies so that we can come together and learn and explore as a family.  Our first unit study is on a subject of interest to all six of us:  SPACE.  


Our first field trip of the year was to the planetarium to see a sky show.  It was great fun, and although we did not agree with the teachings of many of the secular theories regarding space, it was an entertaining and educating experience.  






We are using the books, "Taking Back Astronomy" by Jason Lisle and "Finding the Constellations" by H.A. Rey, the author of the Curious George series with our study.  And thanks to Pinterest we have many space themed activities to keep us busy throughout the month of September.  (You can find my HOMES COOL pinterest board HERE.)  


We are also taking advantage of our handy pocket star finder to use while star gazing.  You use it to adjust the time of year to show you exactly what stars you are looking at.  We also love using the Google Sky Map application on my Android smart phone to help us navigate the night skies. 

In our study we will explore the idea of the story of the Bible from creation to the fall of man, from the crucifixion to Christ's second coming being written out in the stars.  The Heavens truly declare the glory of God and we are looking forward to becoming intimately aware of just how much they share with us.

Earlier this week, the six of us laid on the trampoline star gazing for an hour or more.  During that time God allowed us to view a more awesome sky show than any the planetarium had to offer - it was complete with thousands of stars, several shooting stars, and even lightening.  

Next week is to be filled with several experiments and crafts to help us better understand the mysteries of space.   We also hope to camp out so that we might spend an entire night away from the bright lights of town star gazing.  Stop back by to be part of our adventure - to infinity and beyond!  

Saturday, August 18, 2012

What 1200 Daily Calories Look Like


Before I began this journey, one of my biggest obstacles was understanding how to prepare a meal under a limited number of calories.  Myfitnesspal.com has helped made possible for me to easily track what I eat and 
When I eat it.  Below are two typical days of food that I normally eat.  I normally try to stay under my calories, carbs, and fat.  I prefer to have more fiber and protein that is listed.  I also drink between 12-15 glasses of water daily.

BreakfastCaloriesCarbsFatProteinFiberSodium
Folgers - 1/2 Caffine Coffee - Coffee With 2 Tbs Half & Half Creamer, 8 oz40131020Ico_delete
Apples - Raw, with skin, 1 small (2-1/2" dia) (approx 4 per lb)55150031Ico_delete
Jiff Natural - Peanut Butter Smooth, 1 Tbsp95484140Ico_delete
Add Food 
19020115461
Snack
Add Food 
Lunch
Smart Ones - Traditional Lasgna With Meat Sauce, 1 package300417174860Ico_delete
Add Food 
300417174860
Snacks
Generic - Sharp Cheddar Cheese , 1 ounce1101680250Ico_delete
Add Food 
1101680250
Supper
Great Value - Frozen California Style Vegetable Mix, 2.668 cup10020048120Ico_delete
Great Value - Frozen Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts, 4 oz10003230220Ico_delete
Add Food 
200203278340
Snack
Keeblers - Sandies Dark Chocolate Almond Cookies, 4 cookies340382042190Ico_delete
Add Food 
340382042190
Totals1,1401204761181,701
Your Daily Goal1,3001794349142,500
Remaining16059-4-12-4799
CaloriesCarbsFatProteinFiberSodium
I chose to limit my caloric intake to less than 1300 calories a day based on the amount of weight I need to lose.  Since Jan. 10th of this year, I have loss 48 pounds by following this plan.  Also, I do not consider this a diet plan, but a healthy lifestyle change.  There is no going back!