Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Former Addict Recovered by God's Grace

My daughter reminded me yesterday of something that I have told her for her entire life: "Only God's opinion of you matters, and He thinks you're wonderful." My husband chimed in, "He also thinks you're beautiful. So do I."

Wow... could a woman's heart be any fuller?

Even before approval was said to be an addiction, I was an addict. I looked for it everywhere. A person didn't even have to express their disapproval of me to lower my opinion of myself. All they had to do was not vocalize that they appreciated me or offer an appropriate compliment, or (leave a comment - lol), and a sting of rejection burned through my entire being.

John Knowles wrote that 'sarcasm is the protest of the weak.' And there was a time that I was so weak that sarcasm was my second language. I used it protect myself from any negativity I might receive from whatever source. I was good at being sarcastic and quick to offer the best smart remark for any given situation.

In an effort to shield my children from the vulnerability that I myself had felt from feelings of rejection, I have taught them for their whole lives that God's opinion of them is truly the only opinion that matters. As long as they are living the life God to which God has called them, there is no one else they need to feel the desire to please. (That is taking into consideration, of course, that God's will for them includes them submitting to authority, but in doing so, not allowing anyone to make them feel any less than who they are.)

I spent years caught in the web of being a people pleaser. And when I didn't measure up to their expectations, I felt alone and rejected. Praise God that as the years have passed, He has shown me my true identity in HIM. I am HIS. I am CHOSEN. I am CALLED. He has called me FRIEND. Whose acceptance could mean more than the creator of the universe, than the creator of humanity.

I am so blessed that this message has been etched on the hearts of my children. Not only does it provide them with the security that comes from knowing who they are but also (and more importantly) whose they are, it also is great for the times when I relapse and need to be reminded.

I am HIS, and HE thinks I'm wonderful!

Isaiah 43:1 - But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, he who formed you: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

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  1. You are such a heart blessing.

  2. Found you via the blog party, nice to meet you! You have the most adorable blog I've ever seen I just love it! and aren't or weren't we all addicted to something at one time or other where only God's grace would see us threw...love your post.

    Have a great week. Pop by and say hello if you get a chance.

  3. I am very talented at hiding behind sarcasm and I'm a pro at deciding what other people think of me, whether they say it or not, and letting it matter.

    Those are hard habits to break.

  4. OUCH! This one stung...I gotta let this one work in me to be used of God to change me...

    sarcasm is my own second language although I didn't realize i use it as a shield...hmmmmm...could be...makes sense since my own mom is very sarcastic and i happen to be raising children who tend to respond sarcastically sometimes...pray for us girl...

  5. Thank you so much for sharing this! I have such a hard time with this very thing. You dont know how much this spoke to me today.

  6. This was definately a blog after my own heart! I spent many years and still relapse at trying to please others at my own expense. I think that the devil thrives on women and their self image and self esteem. He would like us to believe that we are less than we are and that the whole world looks down upon us. In truth we are the daughters of our precious Heavenly Father who loves us unconditionally and divinely made us just as we are. It is only as I grow spirtually that I have come to realize more and more that my Heavenly Father is the only one that I need to impress because if I am living to please him, those that know the true me, will accept me for who I am. I too hope that I continue to gain this confidence so that I can pass it down to my children. Thanks for sharing! <>< Beth :D

  7. Yes, I have a people pleaser in my family, but he knows it and works with it!

    Such a great verse to use with your post!

    You are so right. God made us, He chose us, and He wants us! He will never reject us!

  8. I think too often we walk that fine line between wanting to do our personal best & craving the applause of onlookers. But you nailed it when you said it only matters what God thinks of you. Perfect post!

  9. Ah, sarcasm used to be my only defense growing up. My sharp tongue was my weapon against my siblings -- 9 and 11 years older than me.

    My unholy training followed me and it has only been in the past 10 years that God has been doing a deep cleansing of my soul.

    I like the way you put it -- shows weakness.

    Bless you!

  10. This is just what I needed to hear this morning! Its great ~


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